Love is a Many Splendored Thing Sort Of
by tessalynne
Summary: The Charmed Ones cope with a rather unusual holiday surprise.
1. Chapter 1

CHARMED

"Love Is A Many Splendored Thing; Sort Of"

By Teri Thibeault (a.k.a. Tessalynne) and J. B. Tilton (a.k.a. PG (for mild language)

Disclaimer: "Charmed" and all related characters and events are the property of the WB television network, except for those characters specifically created for this story. This is a work of fan fiction and no infringement of copyright is intended.

A/N: Just a little holiday fun for your enjoyment.

Summary: The Charmed Ones cope with a rather unusual holiday surprise.

ONE

The elevator doors opened and Cole and Phoebe stepped out. Behind them were Piper and Paige.

"Well, here we are," said Cole as they looked around.

The room was lavishly decorated. Mistletoe hung from nearly every office door leading off the main room. A large Christmas tree, replete with presents stood in one corner. A large buffet table lined one wall filled with a variety of holiday treats to tempt the palette. The strains of Christmas music provided a gentle counterpoint to the room that was nearly filled with people who were chatting and drinking and generally having a good time.

"So this is what a twenty dollar party looks like," said Paige looking around the room.

"It's for a good cause," said Cole. "Every dime goes to the shelters for abused and neglected children. They get a lot of money from these annual Christmas parties."

"Well, I think it's a good idea," said Phoebe, holding Cole's arm. "Everyone has a Christmas party anyway. Asking for a donation to give to the kids is a wonderful way make it more than just a social gathering."

"And I hear they've had a record turn out this year," said Cole. "I may be the newest member of the law firm but it's nice to know you guys would agree to do this for me. I really appreciate it."

"Well, we couldn't very well say no to the kids, could we?" Piper asked. "This is a way to help the innocent without having to fight demons to do it. I just hope Leo makes it in time. He didn't seem to think his charge in Russia would need him very long."

"I'm sure he'll make it," said Paige.

"Cole," said a man walking over to them. "Glad you could make it."

"Gerald," Cole said. "This is Phoebe, my girlfriend. And these are her sisters Piper and Paige."

"Well, it's nice to have all of you here. We have such a wonderful turnout at these events and it does help the children. I'm Gerald Barnes, the senior partner here. I appreciate you coming even though you don't know anyone here."

"Well anything for the kids," said Phoebe. "When Cole told us how you raise money for them we just couldn't say no."

"If I remember correctly," said Gerald, "didn't you have reservations for five, Cole?"

"Oh, yeah," said Cole. "Leo, Piper's husband will be joining us later. He was, uh, unexpectedly called away at the last minute."

"Oh, is he a doctor or something?"

"No, not a doctor," said Piper nervously. "You might say he's something of a counselor."

"Well, that's wonderful. I always like to see others helping when they can. There are far too many people who care only for themselves. If we had more like your husband perhaps those shelters wouldn't be necessary. Cole, may I have a word with you privately for a moment? I won't keep him long, Phoebe, I promise."

"Sure thing," said Cole. "I'll be right back, sweetheart."

"No problem," said Phoebe.

"He doesn't seem much like a lawyer," said Paige.

"Cole said he grew up a battered child," said Phoebe. "That's why he cares about those kids so much."

"Well," said Piper, looking around the room of people, "party's usually mean mingling. I guess we should mingle."

The girls moved into the room waiting for Cole to return.


	2. Chapter 2

TWO

"Hey, sweetie," Phoebe said when Cole had emerged from his chat with Gerald, "everything okay."

"Yeah, yeah," said Cole nervously. "Can you give me a hand with something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"What's the matter Cole?" Piper asked. "You seem nervous."

"Well," said Cole, "it seems the firm has a tradition of sorts. You know they have these parties every year. And the most junior member of the firm, meaning me this year, usually has a specific responsibility."

"What kind of responsibility?" Paige asked.

"Uh, well, they are planning on bringing in some of the kids from the shelter later," said Cole. "So the people can see just exactly who it is they're helping."

"That's a wonderful idea," said Paige. "So, what's your responsibility? Are you supposed to go get them or something?"

"No, not exactly," said Cole. "It seems that part of the festivities includes a visit from Santa. He hands out gifts to the kids. Apparently it's a tradition that dates back to when the firm first opened."

"That's nice," said Piper. "I'm sure the kids will love it. So what do you need Phoebe's help with?"

"Well," Cole hedged, "the responsibility I mentioned is playing Santa Claus. It's voluntary, of course, but it's tradition. Gerald just asked me if I'd be Santa for the kids."

"Cole, that's great," said Phoebe. "You have been saying you want to learn to be more human. I don't think you could pick a better way to do that."

"Yeah, but," Cole stammered, "the problem is, I have no idea how to be Santa. As I'm sure you're aware Christmas isn't exactly a major holiday in demonic circles. Oh, I know about all the traditions and stuff. But what does Santa actually do?"

"That's easy," said Piper. "You say 'ho, ho, ho' a lot, you smile, and you ask the kids what they want for Christmas. Oh, first you ask them if they've been good little boys and girls. Then you hand them a present and move on to the next one. Should be a piece of cake even for you."

"She's right," said Phoebe. "Christmas is about giving and sharing. Just treat each child as if they're the most special child in the world. Santa is all about children. They all love him and to him each one is unique and special. Just keep that in mind and I'm sure you'll do fine."

"Just say 'ho, ho, ho, huh?" asked Cole.

"Well, not like that," Paige shook her head ruefully. "You have to put some volume to it. Lower your voice some. Try to make it more of a laugh. Oh, and don't forget to say 'Merry Christmas'. That's a big part of it too."

"Gerald says the kids will be here in about an hour or so," said Cole. "He said I can put on the suit just before they get here. Phoebe, I was wondering if you could help me with this? You guys seem to know all about this stuff and I would really like to make a good impression and get it right."

"Sure thing, sweetie," said Phoebe. "It's really easy, you'll see. A little coaching and you'll be the best Santa they've ever seen."

"Great," said Cole. "I really appreciate it."

"Mr. Turner."

They all turned toward the sound of the hesitant voice to see a young woman standing near them. The small brunette appeared to be about 20 and raised a hand to nervously pat her hair into place although it was in perfect order.

"Oh, hello Sherry," said Cole. "Sherry, this is Phoebe and Piper Halliwell and Paige Matthews. This is Sherry Johnson, one of our legal secretaries."

"Nice to meet all of you," Sherry said quietly. Her face pinkened slightly as she handed Cole a foil-covered plate.

"I made these for you," she said hurriedly. "Sort of a welcome to the firm thing. It's kind of tradition here."

"You guys seem to have a lot of traditions," Piper struggled to keep the amusement from her voice and exchanged a knowing glance with Paige.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes is very big on tradition."

"Why, Sherry, thank you," Cole pulled back the foil to expose a tray of neatly piled brownies cut into two inch squares and laden with nuts. "They look delicious."

"Well, it's also tradition that you eat the first one," said Sherry. "They're very good. They're my specialty."

The girl's color deepened even further at the self-praise.

Awkwardly Cole picked up the top brownie and popped the square into his mouth, chewing quickly. Unwilling to insult the girl by informing her that he didn't really care for brownies with nuts.

"They're very good," he said. "Would you girls like to try one?"

"On, no," Sherry said quickly. "They're just for you. I'm sorry. I don't mean any offense. It's just our way of showing Mr. Turner how much we appreciate him and having him in the firm."

"No offense taken," said Phoebe, smiling. "We understand tradition."

"I'll just put these in my office," said Cole. "I can snack on them during the day. Thank you, Sherry, this was very sweet of you."

"My pleasure, Mr. Turner," the young woman beamed happily.

"I think someone has a crush on you," Paige teased as Sherry moved off to mingle with other guests.

"Nonsense," said Cole. "You heard what she said. It's tradition."

"No, I think Paige is right," Piper grinned. "That look in her eyes and the smile on her face wasn't one of friendship. Better keep an eye on him Phoebe, it seems he has an admirer."

"That's enough," said Phoebe. "Who could blame her? Besides she can't be more than twenty or twenty-one. I'm sure the crush will pass soon."

"Come on Phoebe," Cole said uncomfortably. "We have a few minutes to mingle before I need to change."

Paige and Piper just smiled as they moved off into the group of people.


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

"Ho, ho, ho," Cole resounded with the young girl on his lap. "Merry Christmas. And what can Santa bring you this year?"

"I have to give him credit," said Paige, "Cole is doing a great job. For someone who had no idea how to do it over an hour ago he's doing pretty good."

"Phoebe must have done a good job coaching him," said Piper.

"He's a quick study," said Phoebe. "He seemed really eager to learn about it. And all the kids seem to love him."

Cole lifted the child off his lap and handed her to his "elf". He stood up and walked over to the sisters.

"I have to admit that was a lot of fun," he said. "I can see what I've been missing all these years. No wonder so many people like playing Santa every year."

"You were wonderful," said Phoebe, kissing him on the cheek. Suddenly "Merry Christmas Darling" began to play. "So, any chance I could get a dance with Santa?"

"It is the season for giving," Cole said, smiling at her.

Piper and Paige watched as they moved over to the improvised dance floor. Several other couples were dancing at the time but there was plenty of room. Despite the fact that they didn't really know anyone there they were having a good time. They had met many of the office staff and their families and everyone seemed very friendly and outgoing.

"You really did a great job with the kids," Phoebe said, kissing Cole on the neck. "You're a natural. When we get home I'm sure I can find a proper reward for you."

"Phoebe, please," said Cole, pulling back just slightly. "I have to present a certain air of dignity and decorum."

"Dignity and decorum?" Phoebe asked in astonishment. "Cole, I was just…."

"I know," said Cole. "But this isn't the time or place. Let's just enjoy the party and afterwards we can discuss it."

"Discuss it? Cole, what's gotten into you?"

"Nothing. I just don't think that a Christmas party with all of my bosses watching is the time or place to get amorous."

"I wasn't suggesting we do anything here," said Phoebe, a bit angry. "I was just suggesting when we get home."

"I realize that," said Cole. "I just think it's best if we discuss it later, that's all."

"Discuss what? What's there to discuss? Cole, it's not like we just met or started going out or anything. You've never acted like this before. First you get all strange over a joke about your costume pants and now you act like I'm trying to ravish you on the dance floor. Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. But this is my office. I have to present myself in a professional manner."

"Cole, it's a party. You're allowed to let your hair down a bit. That's what these parties are for."

"Excuse me, Phoebe. I need to speak to Miss Grumble for a minute."

Cole turned and moved off leaving Phoebe standing in the middle of the room dumbfounded.

"Everything okay?" Piper asked, walking up to Phoebe.

"I don't know. Cole just shot me down."

"Shot you down?"

"Yeah. I suggested that when we get home I reward him for being such a good Santa. He said we'd discuss it. He acted like he wasn't even interested. You don't think he's losing interest in me, do you?"

"No, I don't sweetie. Cole loves you very much. He's probably just nervous, that's all. He's new here and he wants to make a good impression on his new bosses. I'm sure that once the party's over and you get home he'll be the same Cole you knew."

"Okay," said Phoebe half-heartedly. "I hope you're right. It's almost like he doesn't feel anything. That it's all business."

"I wouldn't worry. Probably just stress about the new job. Just try to enjoy yourself and don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll be fine."

"I suppose. Maybe you're right. Maybe it's just my imagination. Hey, where's the eggnog? Someone said it was really good."

"Right this way."

Phoebe glanced at Cole as she followed Piper to the eggnog. He was talking to one of the other attorneys and from all outward appearances he didn't seem any different from before. She decided that Piper was right. It was probably just the stress of the new job.

"Ho, ho, ho," Cole boomed as one of the senior partners sat on his lap.

A professional photographer carefully adjusted the lens on his camera, then snapped the picture. Smiling the partner rose from Cole's lap to let the next person in line sit down.

"So the pictures are for the company newsletter?" Paige asked Gerald.

"Yes," he said. "Many of the staff buy tickets to help the kids but have other obligations that conflict with them actually being here. So we take pictures of each staff member sitting on Santa's lap and put together a newsletter to show everyone what a great time we had. We have a copy of every newsletter since we started."

"That's a great idea," said Piper, looking at her watch. "I wonder where Leo is? He said he'd be here by now."

"I'm sure he'll be here," said Paige. "You know how his, uh, counseling sessions can be sometimes."

"What kind of counselor is he?" Gerald asked.

"Oh," said Piper, "I guess you'd call him a personal counselor. He, uh, helps people with their problems. Gives advice, information, that sort of thing."

"He must stay busy."

"Sometimes more than I'd like," smiled Piper.

Phoebe was watching Cole in puzzlement. In the hour since he had rebuffed her he had seemed cold and distant. Every time she had tried to show him any affection he would withdraw from her. He wasn't rude but he kept insisting that it would be inappropriate while they were at the party.

One of the paralegals was just taking her seat on Cole's lap. The photographer began adjusting the lighting and camera for the next picture. As Phoebe watched, she noticed Cole begin to rub the paralegals' back in a way that was more than just friendly.

"So," Cole grinned at the woman, "what can Santa bring you this Christmas, sweetheart?"

"Well, let's see," giggled the paralegal. "I think this year I'd like…."

The young woman suddenly got a very strange look on her face. Her eyes widened as she stood quickly and glanced toward Cole's waist.

"Oh, looks like Santa wants to deliver some of his presents early this year," she stammered as she hurriedly moved away from Cole.

Phoebe had observed the young woman's actions, though she wasn't close enough to hear the conversation and moved over to Cole as he stood up. As she approached he reached onto a nearby table and pulled off an empty platter.

"Cole, what's the matter? She acted like… Cole Turner!"

Phoebe glanced down and noticed the very inappropriate protrusion readily apparent on Cole. He hurriedly placed the platter in front of him holding it waist high.

"Phoebe, I don't know what happened. One minute I'm taking pictures with the staff, the next minute…. Oh, look at Ms. Crandle. I never noticed that she had such a nice pair of…."

"Cole!" Phoebe snapped pulling him off to one side. "What's gotten into you?'

"I don't know," his confusion was obvious. "It's as if I've suddenly…. Oh, excuse me, Phoebe. Margaret Barnes is standing under the mistletoe. Can't let that go to waste, now can we?"

Phoebe just stared at Cole as he pulled away from her and nearly ran to the wife of the senior partner of the law firm.


	4. Chapter 4

FOUR

"What do you mean he's acting strange?" Piper asked when Phoebe had explained what was going on with Cole.

"That's just it, strange. First he acts like he has no interest in me whatsoever and now he's going after every female in the place. Piper, he had to stop taking pictures because he was…well, you know. Do you realize he's all ready kissed four of the staffs' wives? And they weren't friendly Christmas kisses either, let me tell you."

"Hey guys," said Darryl, walking up to them. "I just got here. Looks like a good turnout this year."

"I didn't know you were coming to this party," said Piper.

"Yeah, for the last couple of years. They handle a lot of criminal cases and sometimes I work pretty closely with them. What's going on with Cole?"

They all followed Darryl's gaze and saw Cole standing next to one of the office staff. She looked very uncomfortable. As Cole spoke, his eyes were roaming the length of her body in blatant appraisal. Phoebe was fit to be tied. It was all she could do to keep from exploding in rage.

"I'm going to kill him," she hissed. "Once I get him home, I'm going to strangle him with my bare hands."

"Take it easy," said Darryl. "I'm sure it's not what it looks like."

The woman with Cole suddenly turned, glaring at him coldly, a look of disgust on her face and stormed away. Cole shrugged nonchalantly then turned and headed for the girls and Darryl. His smile implied he hadn't a care in the world.

"Hey, Dar, how's it going?" Cole asked as he joined the group.

"Dar?" questioned Darryl. "Cole, you feeling okay?"

"I feel great," said Cole. "Never better. Fantastic."

"I'll bet you do," Phoebe said coldly.

"Hey, sweetie," Cole smiled impishly, trying to put his arms around her, "what say you and me sneak out of here and you can give me that little reward you were hinting at earlier."

"You've got to be joking?" Phoebe snapped, pushing him back. "Cole Turner, what's come over you? You're bouncing around here like a humming bird on speed. And you've been making advances to anything that remotely resembles a woman. Even the married ones. Are you trying to piss me off for some reason?"

"Take it easy, baby. I'm just trying to get into the spirit of the party, that's all."

"Well it looks like you're getting a little too into the spirit. Come on. Let's just find a quiet corner and talk for a moment. You're not acting like yourself."

"Aww, you're just no fun," said Cole, glancing down at Piper. "Say, Pipe. Want to wander over to the mistletoe? It's tradition, you know. And you guys are real big on tradition."

"Uh, I'm thinking no," Piper raised an eyebrow. "Cole you really are acting strange."

"Yeah, you are," said Darryl. "If I didn't know better I'd say you were on something."

"Nope, not on anything, Dar. Just high on the season, that's all. Your wife didn't come with you?"

"No," said Darryl. "I'm just putting in an appearance. I need to be getting back to work soon."

"I see," said Cole, glancing speculatively up and down Darryl's body. "Well, if you have a few minutes maybe you'd like to join me in the supply closet for a little Christmas cheer."

"What!" Darryl nearly shouted. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Okay, that's it," said Phoebe, grabbing Cole by the arm and dragging him toward the door. "When you start hitting on guys I know something is wrong with you. Piper, can you go make some excuse to Cole's boss? Then Paige can orb us back to the manor. We need to get hold of Leo fast."

Paige followed Phoebe and Cole out of the office and into a nearby room and Piper rejoined them quickly. It appeared to be a janitorial closet. Piper looked around to make sure no one had seen them enter, then pulled the door closed behind them.

"Okay, the coast is clear. As soon as we get to the manor I'll call Leo. Maybe he can figure out what's wrong with Cole. Paige, get us to the manor now."

"No problem," Paige glanced over her shoulder darkly. "But if Cole doesn't take his hand off my ass he's going to be orbing there with a nub."

"Oh, sorry," Cole said pulling his hand back to his side and looking anything but sorry.


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

"Leo," Piper called as they orbed into the manor. "Leo, we need you down here. It's kind of an emergency."

Leo orbed in immediately. He had a perplexed look on his face.

"I thought you were at the party. I was just about to orb there."

"We can get back to the party later," said Piper. "Right now we have kind of a problem here."

"What? Demon attack?"

"Not exactly," said Phoebe. "Cole seems to be, uh, under the weather so to speak."

"Cole? Cole is a demon. He can't be under the weather."

"Hey, Leo, how's it going? I told the girls everything was fine. They seem to think I'm sick or something but I feel great. Really great."

"He seems fine to me."

"I am fine. In fact, I'm great. Fantastic. I've never felt this good in my entire life."

"Hello, girls," said Grams materializing in the room. "I just thought I'd drop by and wish my girls a Merry Christmas."

"Hi, Grams," said Piper distractedly. "Actually, we're kind of in the middle of something right now."

"Hey, Grams," Cole sidled up to her. "Wanna wish me a Merry Christmas, too?"

"Sure, Cole," Grams looked at him with confusion on her face. "I didn't know demons celebrated Christmas."

"Half demon. Remember, I am half-human. Hey I got an idea." Cole cocked a brow lewdly and leaned in to whisper suggestively. "Let's go into the laundry room and I'll show you how demons celebrate Christmas."

"My boy, if I wasn't a spirit and you weren't a demon, you still couldn't handle it," said Grams, a sly grin on her face.

"Half demon," Cole corrected with a cocky grin.

"Grams, please, don't encourage him," said Phoebe. "We have a real problem here."

"See what we mean, Leo?" Paige asked. "He's been like that half the night. It's like he's gone into overdrive or something."

"What do you want me to do about it?"

"You're a White Lighter," said Phoebe. "Heal him or something. This isn't normal for him. He must be sick or something."

"First of all, I can only heal part of him. The human part. You know that. Second, maybe he's not sick. Maybe he's under some kind of spell. Or maybe he's having a reaction to something he ate."

"Hey, Leo. I never noticed how blonde you are. Say, did you know I kind of have a thing for blondes? Phoebe won't go blonde. Says it makes her look cheap. But you can glamour into anyone you want. Wonder how you'd look as a supermodel?"

Piper's hands came up and Cole suddenly froze in place.

"Okay, I've had enough of Casanova here."

"Piper," Phoebe protested, "why did you freeze him? He can't help himself."

"He hit on my husband. You're lucky I didn't blow up his horny little demon ass. He's really starting to get on my nerves. Leo, I don't care what you do but you need to do something. Cole is in overdrive and he's getting worse. If he keeps going like this there's no telling what's going to happen."

"I'd be happy to. But since I don't have a clue as to what is wrong, what would you suggest I do?"

"You're the White Lighter," said Piper. "Think of something."

"Or," said Paige, "you could spend the rest of the night fending off his advances."

"Point taken."

"Well?" questioned Grams, looking at Leo. "Don't just stand there. Do something."

"I'll see what I can do. I'll be back as soon as I can."

Leo orbed out as the four women turned to look at the still frozen Cole.

"So," said Paige. "Just what do we do with Rudolph Valentino until Leo gets back?"

"Paige, please," said Phoebe. "Something is obviously wrong with him. He's not acting at all like himself. We really shouldn't be making fun of him."

"Still, Paige has a point," said Piper. "We can't keep him frozen forever. What do we do with him?"

"I have an idea," said Grams. "Paige, dear, let's go upstairs. We need to make some preparations."

Paige looked to Piper and Phoebe as Grams headed for the stairs. At Piper's nod, the younger sister turned and followed their grandmother up the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

SIX

"Piper, will you quit freezing me?" Cole pled almost petulantly standing over her as she sat at the kitchen table drinking a cup of coffee. "That's the third time you've done it. I'm not doing anything, just waiting for Phoebe to come back downstairs."

"You're acting like a supercharged teenager," Piper said with irritation, glancing up at him. She noticed him leaning over staring intently downward. "Are you trying to look down my blouse, you pervert?" she questioned indignantly as she stood up.

"W-What? No, no, not at all. How could you even think that?" Cole stepped back quickly and tried for an expression of innocence. "Where is Phoebe, anyway? You said she'd be back down in a few minutes."

"She's preparing a little surprise for you. Just take it easy."

Piper sighed, she was beginning to have her fill of Cole. Obviously something was wrong with him but that didn't make the situation any easier. He seemed to be getting worse by the minute and the temptation to blow him up; or at least a part of him; was becoming very attractive to her.

"Cole," Phoebe called from the upstairs. "Why don't you come up to the attic, sweetie? I have a surprise for you."

"Oh, goodie goodie," said Cole, nearly giddy. "Catch you later, sis."

"Doubtful, at least not if I can help it," Piper mumbled as Cole nearly ran to the stairs.

As he entered the attic he saw Phoebe standing in the middle of the room wearing the slinky red dress he loved so much. Hurriedly he began to peel off the Santa suit he was wearing, the jacket flying in one direction and belly padding in the other. With only the red pants remaining he moved toward her with a leer.

"Whoa there big guy, hold on," Phoebe said sweetly. "This is a special surprise. Now, I want you to stand right here. Close your eyes and I guarantee you something very special."

Cole moved to the spot she had indicated and closed his eyes. He was nearly shaking from anticipation.

"Okay, sweetie, whatever you say. I just know this is going to be great. Whenever you're ready, my little love button."

"Crystal."

The sound of Paige's voice startled Cole and he opened his eyes. Standing in the doorway to the attic next to Phoebe was Paige.

"Oh, company. This should be really interesting."

Cole started to move toward the two and an invisible shield sprang up and barred his way. That's when he noticed the crystals spread around him. The same crystals the girls had used on occasion to create the magical cage to hold some of the demons they faced.

"Hey, baby, if you were interested in some B&D all you had to do was say so. Kinky. Me likes."

"Oh, God," Paige breathed. "Well at least he's contained. And up here we won't have to put up with his constant advances."

"Sweetie, I'm sorry about this," Phoebe said to Cole. "But you're just not yourself. When Leo gets back we'll figure out what's wrong with you and make you all better. I promise."

"Hey, what gives? Come on, Phoebe," Cole wheedled. "You know I would never hurt you. Let me out of this cage and we can go to our room and I'll show you just how much I love you. And if Paige wants to join, so much the better. You think Piper and Leo might be interested?"

"He's definitely getting worse, that's for sure," said Grams materializing next to Phoebe.

"You think he's under some kind of spell?" Phoebe asked.

"I don't know," said Grams. "I suppose it could be some kind of love spell. But the questions are who put it on him and why?"

"Come on," said Paige. "Lets go back downstairs. Leo should be back soon and hopefully this will be all over soon."

"Phoebe, please," Cole called out as the three left the attic. "Honey? Sweetheart? We don't need Leo and Piper. Paige will do fine. Come on, baby. Don't leave me here like this."

"Thank God he's contained," said Piper when the others had entered the kitchen. "I came this close to blowing him up."

"It's not his fault," said Phoebe. "He must be under some kind of spell."

"Yeah, a horny spell," said Paige sarcastically.

"Paige dear, please," said Grams. "What's taking Leo so long? He should have been back by now."

"I'm sure he'll be back as soon as he can," Phoebe winced at what sounded like a small explosion. "In the mean time we'll just have to make sure Cole doesn't hurt himself. I can't for the life of me understand what's going on."

"Well, maybe I have someone who can help," said Leo, coming into the kitchen. A striking young woman who appeared to be about thirty with long flowing red hair and even longer legs trailed him. She was carrying a small bag with her.

"This is Katrina," said Leo. "If anyone can figure out what's wrong with Cole, she can."

"Are you a White Lighter?" Paige asked.

"Hardly," the woman laughed. "I'm a physician of sorts. Demons don't fall ill to the normal human diseases, but they do have their own maladies to contend with. And being half-human, Belthazor may suffer from some form of modified ailment. Don't worry girls. I'm sure I can find out what's wrong with him and fix it, whatever it is."

"Belthazor?" questioned Piper. "You called him Belthazor, not Cole."

"Yes," said Katrina. "Since my practice is geared more to the demonic masses I usually refer to my patients by their demonic names."

"You brought a demon into the manor?" Piper nearly shrieked at Leo.

"Hang on a second. You said you didn't care what I did as long as I did something. The Elders aren't exactly well versed in treating demonic ailments. And since, as far as I know, Cole has never suffered from any human ailments, the most logical choice is a demonic healer. And she's one of the best."

"Don't worry, honey. Even demonic healers have their oaths; I'm not a threat to the Charmed Ones. My only interest is finding out what's wrong with Belthazor and curing him. Now, where is my patient?"

"He's in the attic," said Phoebe. "We have him confined in the crystal cage. He was really getting on our nerves."

"Great," said Katrina. "Now, if you'll just show me to him, I'm sure we can get this all sorted out rather quickly."

"Just great," fumed Piper as Phoebe led Katrina upstairs. "Cole goes into hormonal overdrive and Leo brings a demon into the manor deliberately. Can this day get any better?"

"Relax," said Grams. "What Leo says make sense. And if we want to find out what's wrong with Cole it just stands to reason that a demonic healer would be able to do that."

"Thanks, Penny," said Leo. "I'm glad someone understands."

"I just hope this Katrina can do something for Cole," said Paige. "I've had my fair share of advances before but having them come from Cole is too weird, way worse than anything I've ever experienced. Even from construction workers."

"She'd better do something," said Piper. "If I catch him trying to look down my blouse one more time I'm going to start blowing off body parts. And I won't be starting with his hands."

Leo just glanced at the ceiling hoping that Katrina could find out what was wrong with Cole and fix it.


	7. Chapter 7

SEVEN

As Phoebe and Katrina entered the attic, Cole was casting an energy ball at the prison he was in. Phoebe sighed, just as she had earlier suspected he was testing the strength of the cage.

"Well, I'm glad to see you finally came to your senses, sweetheart. Katrina? What are you doing here? Oh, I get it. Very ingenious, Phoebe. You didn't want Paige. Yeah, that would be a bit awkward. You want Katrina to join us. Good choice."

"You see how he is? And he's getting worse. He hit on Darryl, a policeman friend of ours. He even hit on Leo. Please, you have to do something."

"Don't worry, I will. Hello, Belthazor. Your, uh, girlfriend tells me you've been acting a bit strange lately. How do you feel?"

"I feel great. Ready to take on the world. Fantastic. Never been better. I keep telling them there's nothing wrong with me but they won't listen. Phoebe, come on. Let me out of this prison. Please, sweetie? I'll be good, I promise," Cole coaxed.

Katrina removed a crystal from the bag she was carrying. After studying the cage for a moment, she passed her hand over the crystal she held and murmured an incantation. Phoebe flinched involuntarily.

"What are you doing?" she asked nervously.

"Relax dear, this is a diagnostic crystal. I'm simply calibrating it to function through the cage. I assumed releasing him wasn't what you had in mind right now."

Phoebe nodded and Katrina raised the crystal and passed it the up and down the length of Coles' body. The crystal began to flash different colored lights.

"Hmmm," said Katrina. "Blood pressure is up. Respiration is faster than normal. Pupils are dilated. He's perspiring more than normal. And there are elevated levels of tinoxin and buteronin in his bloodstream."

"Is that serious?" Phoebe asked worriedly.

"No, not normally. It's a perfectly natural reaction to demonic males when they go through puberty. It's just extremely unusual in someone as old as Belthazor."

"That's ridiculous," said Cole. "I'm no adolescent. You just let me out of this cage and I'll show you how much of an adult I am. Rrrwww."

"Puberty? Wait a minute, are you telling me that Cole is going through puberty?"

"Not at all. I'm saying he's exhibiting all the symptoms of a demonic male adolescent going through puberty. Obviously that's not the case with him. But something is affecting him in much the same manner."

She reached into her bag and pulled out another crystal. As before she scanned Cole's body. This one reacted very similarly to the first crystal. When she had finished she studied the crystal closely for a few minutes.

"Okay, I think that will do it. Belthazor, I need to talk to Phoebe alone for a minute. Why don't you wait right here and we'll be back shortly."

"Sure, no problem. Just don't take too long."

Phoebe and Katrina went back down to the kitchen. Piper, Paige, Leo, and Grams were waiting expectantly.

"Well, did you find out what's wrong with him?"

"She says he's going though puberty," Phoebe said glumly.

"No, I said he was exhibiting many of the same symptoms. I've been treating Belthazor for many years and I can assure you that's not the case."

"So what is wrong with him?" Paige asked.

"Nothing's really wrong with him. He seems to be infected by something. I did detect a foreign substance in his blood. My guess is that he's ingested something that's had this affect on him."

"Well, just give him an antidote," said Piper.

"It's not quite that simple, I'm afraid. You see I don't know what it is he's ingested. Unless we can figure out what it is there's no way I can prescribe an antidote. And he is getting worse. The elevated functions are continuing to increase."

"Okay, so we just have to figure out what he's taken," said Grams.

"I doubt he would take anything deliberately," said Phoebe. "Maybe it was something he accidentally ate or drank. Or something he didn't know would have this effect on him."

"That's possible," said Katrina. "Occasionally some demons do have an unusual reaction to something that doesn't react the same way in other demons. It's also possible he's developed an allergy of sorts to something that hasn't effected him like this before. If we can figure out what it is that's causing this I can try to figure out an antidote for it."

"When did he start acting like this?" Leo asked.

"A couple of hours ago at the party," said Phoebe.

"That would be about right," said Katrina. "I can't be certain without further tests, but it appears that whatever is effecting him has only been in his system for a few hours. What kind of party?"

"A Christmas party at his law firm," said Paige. "But that doesn't make any sense. There wasn't anything at the party that should have effected him like this."

"You never know," said Katrina. "As I said, it's possible he's developed an allergy to something. Now, did he eat or drink anything at this party."

"Yeah, some," said Phoebe. "Like everyone else. But we all ate and drank the same things."

"No, we didn't," said Piper.

"Oh, wait, you're right," said Phoebe. "The brownies that Sherry Johnson gave him. She wouldn't let any of us try them. She said it was a tradition that they be only for the person they were given to."

"Hmmm," said Katrina. "It's possible there was something in the brownies that effected him. If I had one of the brownies to examine I might be able to figure out what it is."

"Cole put them in his office," said Phoebe. "Paige, why don't you orb there and get one of them. You should be able to do it without anyone seeing you."

"Good idea," said Paige. "Be right back."

Paige orbed out of the kitchen.

"Now when she gets back I'll just analyze the brownie and see if there's anything in there that could cause this affect in Belthazor."

"We prefer to call him Cole," said Phoebe. "If you don't mind."

"Certainly," said Katrina. "Cole. How long do you think it will be before your sister gets back?"

Suddenly Paige orbed back into the kitchen. She handed one of the brownies to Katrina. Katrina took another crystal out of her bag and scanned the brownie with it.

"Well, there's nothing in here that might cause that kind of reaction. They appear to be regular, normal brownies."

"So we're back where we started from," said Piper.

"Maybe not," said Phoebe. "Remember, Sherry insisted that Cole try one of the brownies. There may not be anything in these but what if she put something in the one he ate?"

"Why would she do that?" Leo asked.

"Well, she did seem rather infatuated with him," said Paige. "So I doubt she was trying to hurt him, of course if we knew what then we might know why she put something in it."

"Okay," said Piper. "Leo, you'll need to bring Sherry here. Once we get her to tell us what she put in that brownie you can use the memory dust to erase her memories of all this."

"I'm not really supposed to do that, you know that," said Leo.

"Special circumstance, brother-in-law," said Phoebe. "Now go. I want the old Cole back and this seems to be the only way to do it."

"Here," said Paige, handing Leo a piece of paper. "I figured if she did put something in the brownies we'd have to get her to find out what. I took the liberty of getting her address while I was getting the brownie."

Leo took the piece of paper and looked at it. Then he looked at the sisters and orbed out of the kitchen shaking his head. He knew better than to argue with them when they had their minds set on something. He just hoped that if the Elders found out what he did that they would understand.


	8. Chapter 8

EIGHT

Leo orbed into a very modest apartment. He was careful to orb into a portion of the apartment that wasn't occupied. This was going to be tricky enough without startling the young woman half to death. He wasn't exactly sure how he was going to approach her when she suddenly appeared in the doorway. The white cotton nightgown she wore made her appear even younger.

"Who are you?" she demanded fearfully, her eyes darting around the room in search of other intruders. "How did you get into my apartment?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. My name is Leo and I just need to ask you a couple of questions."

"What do you want?" said the young woman backing cautiously away. "There's money in my purse. It's not much but it's all I have. I don't have any jewelry or anything of value. But you can have whatever you want. Just don't hurt me."

"I'm not here to hurt you. I need your help. Believe me, I'm not a threat to you."

"What do you want?"

"You made some brownies for someone at the law firm where you work. He's having an… unusual reaction to them. I just need to know what you put in them, that's all."

"Br… brownies? Nothing. I, uh, I didn't put anything in them. They were just a mix I got at the store that's all."

"Look, you aren't in any trouble. I just need to know what you put in them that's all. Cole is acting very strange and the doctor needs to know what you put in them so she can treat him."

"Is Mr. Turner okay? He's very nice and I wouldn't want anything to happen to him."

"Then just tell me what you put in the brownies."

"I told you," she insisted vehemently. "I didn't put anything in them. They're just brownies. Honestly."

Leo just looked at the woman. In his sixty some years as a White Lighter he had learned a thing or two about human behavior. The woman was very nervous. And it was very apparent that she wasn't being totally honest with him. She was hiding something and seemed reluctant to be forthcoming with him.

"Give me your hand," he said holding out his hand.

"Why?"

"Well not because I'm the ghost of Christmas past," Leo quipped, immediately sorry for surrendering to the frustration of the evening when the girl's fear escalated obviously. " Look, I just want to show you something. You aren't in any danger, I assure you. Just give me your hand and this should all be over very quickly."

The woman looked at Leo for a minute. She was still very nervous and obviously didn't trust him completely. But she was also afraid of him. He didn't like that reaction but it might work to his advantage. Cautiously she reached out and took his hand.

"This is going to be a bit startling," said Leo as he began his orb. "Just remember you are in no danger. No one is going to hurt you."

As they orbed out of the apartment the woman had a look of abject terror on her face. But there wasn't much else Leo could do. She wasn't about to tell him anything. He only hoped that the girls could get her to be more compliant once he got them back to the manor.

Sherry was shaking as they orbed into the manor. Piper, Phoebe, and Paige all stood by patiently as Leo completed the orb. Katrina seemed less interested in the orb than the others.

"Sherry," said Phoebe as soon as Leo completed his orb, "we need to know what you put in those brownies you gave Cole."

"Easy," said Leo. "I didn't have time to prepare her. She's a bit shaken up."

"Sherry," said Piper calmly, "I know how this must all look to you. But trust me we aren't going to hurt you. We don't really have time for a lot of explanations right now. We just need to know what you put in those brownies, that's all."

"Like I told him, I didn't put anything in them. They're just brownies. It was a mix I got at the store. There's nothing in them that should have hurt Mr. Turner."

"Sherry," said Phoebe, "we know you put something in those brownies. At least the one you had him eat. Look, it's very clear you're infatuated with him. I don't blame you. And if you put something in that brownie we don't blame you. We just need to know what you put in it, that's all."

"I didn't put anything in it, honestly. They're just brownies. Nothing that could hurt anyone."

"Okay, this is getting us nowhere," Katrina snapped. "Look, honey, you're obviously lying. Even these humans should be able to tell that. Now, just tell us what was in that brownie and you can go back home. No one will bother you and you won't have to worry about anyone finding out. Doctor/patient privilege and all that."

"What do you mean 'these humans'? Who are you people?"

"I'm a doctor," said Katrina. "I've been Belthazor's, I mean Cole's, personal physician for almost sixty years. So just tell me what was in the brownie and this will all be over."

"Sixty years? That's impossible. Neither you nor Mr. Turner are nearly that old."

Suddenly they all heard another explosion from upstairs. Apparently Cole was still using his energy balls to try and escape the prison Paige had put him in.

"Okay, look," said Katrina. "Time is running out. The long and short of it is that Cole is a demon and you've given him something that he's having an adverse reaction to. If I don't find out what it is soon there's no telling what's going to happen. So just tell me what you gave him and that will be that."

Sherry just looked at them with a look of total terror on her face sure that she had fallen in with a bunch of deranged lunatics.


	9. Chapter 9

NINE

"You're crazy," said Sherry looking at them in fear.

"Sherry, look," said Piper shooting an angry glance at Katrina, "I know this is a lot to take in. The truth is that my sisters and I are witches. Leo is a White Lighter, sort of a guardian angel so to speak. And Cole is half demon but he's one of the good guys.

"Now it's obvious you have a crush on Cole. We know you didn't mean to cause him any harm but Katrina is right, even if she doesn't have a whole lot of tact. Whatever you put into those brownies is effecting him badly. Katrina is a doctor and if she knew what it was you gave him she'll be able to counter it."

"You're all crazy," said Sherry. "Witches and demons? This is ridiculous. They don't exist. And I didn't put anything into those brownies. They're just brownies."

"Maybe she needs proof," said Paige. She reached out and grabbed Sherry's hand. "Come on, sister. Let's go get you the proof you need."

They all followed as Paige nearly dragged Sherry upstairs. When they got to the attic they saw Cole still trapped in the crystal cage. He looked at them as they all entered the room.

"Well now," he said. "Just how long to you plan to keep me in here? What's she doing here?"

"She wants to join us," said Paige. "Only she's more interested in Belthazor than Cole Turner. We told her you would probably be okay with that."

"Yeah, sure, anything," Cole agreed his frustration evident in his voice. "Let's just get the party started. I'm raring to go. Just get me out of this prison and we can have a lot of fun together."

"What's wrong with him?" Sherry asked. "I've never seen him acting like this."

"That's what we've been telling you," said Phoebe. "Whatever you've given him is causing him to act like that."

"That's impossible, it shouldn't have…." Sherry clapped her hand over her mouth as she realized what she had nearly admitted.

Before anything more could be said Cole suddenly changed. Belthazor stood in the middle of the crystal prison looking at them.

"Is this what you wanted?" Belthazor asked leering at Sherry. "I must say I always did like younger women and seems you, darling, have been hiding some tasty charms. Now, let me out and I'll show you some real demon monkey love."

Sherry screamed and backed away from Belthazor. She backed against a wall and stood quaking in abject terror.

"It's true," she shrieked. "He really is a demon."

"That's what we've been trying to tell you," said Paige. "You see how he is. And he's getting worse. Tell you what. Why don't we let him out of his cage and leave you two alone for a while. I'm guessing whatever you gave him was supposed to make him a little 'friendlier' toward you. Well, sister, you got your wish. Might as well take advantage of it while you can."

"No, no you can't," Sherry pleaded. "I never wanted this. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I've never heard of it affecting anyone like this before. My uncle said it worked great. I just thought he might see me a little differently. Besides, I only gave him half a pill. That's all."

"Half a pill of what?" Phoebe asked.

"Viagra," Sherry confessed shamefacedly.

"Viagra!" the group exclaimed in unison.

"My uncle uses it. He said it works wonders. So I borrowed one of his pills and cut it in half. I figured that if I only gave him half a pill it would just make him more approachable. It didn't even seem to be working; he seemed more distant than ever. That's why I left the party early. I never dreamed it would do this," she finished in a miserable rush.

"I see," said Katrina. "Well apparently you didn't read the directions. Half a Viagra pill is the normal dosage. On some occasions a full pill is warranted but it is normal to cut the pill in half. So you inadvertently gave him a full dosage."

"Oh my," Sherry said. The look on her face was reminiscent of fear.

"Well, now that I know what it is," said Katrina, "let me see if I can find an antidote to it. I'll need to consult my book to see if this has ever happened to another demon before."

Katrina turned and left the attic as the others looked at Belthazor. He kept pushing against the energy barrier of the prison testing its limits. Then they turned and left the attic.

"Don't worry, Cole," said Phoebe. "We'll find an antidote for you, sweetheart. It shouldn't be much longer."

Belthazor changed back to Cole and stood looking at Phoebe. She couldn't tell from his expression what he was feeling. It was an expression she had never seen before.

"Just let me out of this prison," said Cole. "If I don't get out of here soon I'm going to bust. Come on, sweetie. I'll do that thing you like so much."

Phoebe just shuddered. He was getting steadily worse. She just hoped that Katrina could find an antidote to the Viagra in Cole's system. If they couldn't, she didn't know what they were going to do.

"Well," said Katrina, looking in a book as the others entered the living room, "the good news is he's not in any serious danger. Yet. According to this, sildenafil, the active ingredient in Viagra, has an unusual affect on demons. Initially inhibits any emotional response in them. Causing them to sort of shut down so to speak."

"That's how Cole was acting for a while," said Phoebe. "Like he had no interest whatsoever."

"After that it kind of sends them into demonic overdrive, so to speak. Actually enhancing their libido well beyond normal functions. And it also effects their reason and judgment centers. Releasing any inhibitions they have. It's almost like he's being controlled by the drug."

"You said that was the good news," said Leo. "What's the bad news?"

"The longer it's in his system the worse he gets. Eventually it will become so strong he won't be able to control himself any longer. He'll loose all reason and rational thought and his emotions will totally take over. When that happens anyone he comes across will be in danger of his, uh, advances shall we say. And for a demon of Belthazor's strength and stamina someone could get seriously injured."

"So, just give him an antidote," said Phoebe. "It must list one in that book of yours."

"That's just it," said Katrina. "There is no antidote for this. Viagra is designed for one purpose. Once it gets in a demons system it just continues to build. There's only one way to counter what he's going through."

"How's that?" Phoebe asked.

"You have to use it for the purpose it was created," said Katrina. "That's the only known way to get it out of his system."


	10. Chapter 10

TEN

"You mean someone has to…" began Piper.

"I'm afraid so," said Katrina. "Even taking the initial period of disinterest into account, it's only been in his system a few hours so I should imagine he's still fairly cognizant. He doesn't seem to have lost control yet, just his inhibitions. But that will change soon unless someone helps get it out of his system."

"Oh, Merry Christmas to me," Phoebe giggled.

"Well girls," Grams said with a shake of her head, "you seem to have things under control now. I really can't stay long. Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas. I really should get going."

"Thanks, Grams," said Piper. "Sorry we couldn't be more sociable but you see the problem we have."

"No problem, dear," said Grams. "Once you get things straightened out maybe I can come back and we can do it right. Just call me and let me know.

Grams suddenly faded from the manor as Sherry looked on in amazement.

"Well, at least we found out what's wrong with him," said Piper, "and we know how to cure him. Leo, why don't you take Sherry back home? Don't worry, Sherry. We know you didn't mean any harm. Everything is going to be okay. Just trust me on this."

"Okay?" Sherry shrieked. "How can you say that? I learn that not only are demons real but that Mr. Turner is one of them. I have to warn Mr. Barnes about him. If he's a demon there's no telling what evil he might be up to."

Piper saw Leo reach into his pocket and pull out a small bag. She knew it would contain the memory dust that White Lighter's used to remove someone's memories. Once he got Sherry back to her apartment, Piper knew she would remember nothing of what had happened.

"Well, you have to do what you feel is necessary," said Piper. "Leo will take you back to your apartment now. You'll be okay."

Leo orbed out of the manor with Sherry.

"You sure there's no danger?" Phoebe asked.

"Not really," said Katrina. "Although I can tell you that the affects of the drug may last for quite a while."

"Well, from what I know about it," said Paige, "it's supposed to last a couple of hours."

"In humans, yes," said Katrina. "In demons it's a bit longer."

"How much longer?" Piper asked.

"Twelve hours," said Katrina. "Minimum. There are reported cases of it lasting as long as thirty six hours, but those are rare instances."

"Thirty six hours?" Phoebe gasped. "Well, looks like I may not be going to work for the next couple of days."

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," said Katrina. "As I said those instances are rare. Now, there is a possibility of some side affects from the drug. Headaches and such. Nothing very serious. They are only temporary and will dissipate after a while."

"That's good," said Phoebe.

"Oh, just one more thing," said Katrina. "It's not very probable but it is possible that he may experience an unusually prolonged period of, uh, excitement shall we say."

"Yeah, I heard about that," said Phoebe. "If it lasts for more than four hours he should see a doctor right away."

"Yes," said Katrina. "Only in Belthazor's case, because of his demonic constitution, that time frame is a bit longer. Let me know if the situation persists for more than forty-eight hours. I'm sure that won't happen but it's best to be on the safe side. Well, that's all I can do here. Just have Leo come get me if there are any complications."

Katrina shimmered out of the manor leaving the girls alone.

"Guess I should get to administering the cure," giggled Phoebe. "Don't wait up."

"Forty-eight hours?" Piper questioned as Phoebe headed for the attic. "That's an awfully long time."

"Just as long as he doesn't come running down the stairs bragging about it," Paige said, annoyance in her voice. "You know how men can be. And Phoebe you make sure you keep him in your room "

"Oh, I don't think that's going to be a problem," Phoebe giggled again as she bounded up the stairs.

"Yeah, I do," Piper responded absently.

But Piper wasn't really listening to Paige. Her mind was beginning to wander. Just how would sildenafil affect a White Lighter? As Paige headed for the living room Piper just giggled to herself and headed for the kitchen.

The End


End file.
